As young woman with dreams bigger than her life, I took the challenge to focus on raising my children full time until they were established on their own. As a traditional homemaker in a time when women of import were finding ways to balance a career and a family life, I found myself disconnected with the professional arena, even though I had successfully completed a Master’s of Science in Horticulture from the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville. However, I saw the challenges of Homemaking as a form of scientific research which would produce opportunities.
My greatest challenge as a Homemaker was to provide society with a stable family unit. I saw this as the commitment I had made along with my husband when, upon proper medical examination and production of documentation, we were given a license for marriage; which license, upon our marriage, was certified as evidence of our commitment to society to establish a family unit. A marriage license, like a driver’s license, is issued by the government established by a society to regulate the safe and stable maintenance of that society. In the United States of America, that societal unit is the State.
“Family stability, defined as the consistency of family activities and routines” by the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology is studied by those who see stable family units as key to good mental health, which in turn, produces good citizens. Governments desire good citizens because they are the ones who build the structure of society and keep it stable.
So, faced with a number of challenges I will not list, I took on the challenge as a scientific study. I tried any number of techniques and suggestions from professionals, other Homemakers and those who thought they had my best interests at heart. Because I was well trained in statistical methodology and had a spouse who had the same training in statistics as well as a Juris doctorate from the same school, I quickly abandoned failed techniques. Our joke around the home was “This is just another one of mom’s crazy ideas!” If only it had felt like a laughing matter.
I quickly abandoned many vitamins, supplements, “I’m OK, You’re OK” techniques, and therapies. I took what gave good results and preserved those techniques separate from their doctrine and sought out greater understanding of what worked. The result was a blend of several professional techniques (the skills of listening and guided conversation); nutritional structure (a unique balance of seasonal foods, meats and grains); A dab of ‘Self-Help’ techniques (there is good at the core of every individual, and there is a purpose for structure in society); and ultimately a new twist on ancient teachings (The Four Temperaments are real and very applicable to our modern lives). The final creation was a foundational structure so stable that even though our family has not fully developed it, what we have developed has served us in amazing, empowering techniques for use in our families as well as our business endeavors.
In the end, as my children came to me and said, “Mom, you need to share what you have learned.” One of my son in laws introduced my husband to a public presentation course which was expensive and rigorous, saying to my husband, “This is what Lynette needs.” Just weeks after I began training, my father said, “Lynette, there is a comfortableness in your family, even among the in-laws that I have never seen in a family. I want you to be sure to teach our family, especially my grandchildren, what you have taught your children.” This brought considerable weight to my mission because my father had spent over 16 years of my childhood as a lay minister from California to New York and Illinois to North Carolina. He performed several weddings, raised 10 children with my mother and spent hours counseling families and congregations to strengthen and stabilize the family. He had even published 5 books focused on his experiences in some pretty great families throughout his life.
This blog is to introduce you to some fresh ideas which will improve the stability of all your relationships, even ones that you did not know you valued.
 J Clin Child Adolesc Psychol. 2006 Dec;35(4):564-70. Family stability as a protective factor against psychopathology for urban children receiving psychological services. Ivanova MY1, Israel AC.